A random encounter
So yesterday, I popped down to Oxford Street for a spot of christmas shopping. While rushing back to work I was stopped by a man with a long beard and a turban, who I presumed either wanted the time or directions.
To my surprise he launched into a full analysis of my character and relationship situation, starting with the fact that I look young but have a much older mind (I took this as a compliment, he obviously thought i was much younger than I am). He then told me that I don't need a man to buy me clothes or material things, I need a partner who loves me for who I am and who I can 'click' with intellectually.
I thought, so far so true, I'll listen to some more...
He went on to say that I have a man in my heart at the moment and there's someone out there who really likes me but I pushed him away (this could also be true), his name begins with R or S (this didn't ring any bells).
The consultation - I'll call it this because it wasn't a conversation - then took a different turn. He told me that I really have to learn to love myself - standard advice to a singleton I suppose. He added that I have a female relative on my father's side who is very jealous of me and wants bad things to happen to me. At this point I decided that I'd heard enough of this and took a step, he then asked for my name and whether I had a boyfriend or not. Needless to say, I made my excuse and continued my journey back to work.
After relaying the story to a friend I realised that I had been a victim of 'cold reading', this man had tried to win my confidence by spouting some general observations that could probably apply to any number of girls. My black hair, brown skin and lack of ring on the third finger of my left hand must've made me an easy target. The fact that he tried to make me feel bad about myself i.e. I had pushed away someone who liked me and have relatives who are plotting against me, ruined a random encounter that otherwise could have been quite fun. By ending it with a question about my relationship status just highlighted his agenda, this man was on the lookout for a vulnerable girl.
Cold readers are meant to be experts on reading body language and picking up on subtle clues about a person's character, this experience made me wonder how much we give away through our appearance and actions to complete strangers every day? I wonder how much people's perceptions of us affect our life path...
To my surprise he launched into a full analysis of my character and relationship situation, starting with the fact that I look young but have a much older mind (I took this as a compliment, he obviously thought i was much younger than I am). He then told me that I don't need a man to buy me clothes or material things, I need a partner who loves me for who I am and who I can 'click' with intellectually.
I thought, so far so true, I'll listen to some more...
He went on to say that I have a man in my heart at the moment and there's someone out there who really likes me but I pushed him away (this could also be true), his name begins with R or S (this didn't ring any bells).
The consultation - I'll call it this because it wasn't a conversation - then took a different turn. He told me that I really have to learn to love myself - standard advice to a singleton I suppose. He added that I have a female relative on my father's side who is very jealous of me and wants bad things to happen to me. At this point I decided that I'd heard enough of this and took a step, he then asked for my name and whether I had a boyfriend or not. Needless to say, I made my excuse and continued my journey back to work.
After relaying the story to a friend I realised that I had been a victim of 'cold reading', this man had tried to win my confidence by spouting some general observations that could probably apply to any number of girls. My black hair, brown skin and lack of ring on the third finger of my left hand must've made me an easy target. The fact that he tried to make me feel bad about myself i.e. I had pushed away someone who liked me and have relatives who are plotting against me, ruined a random encounter that otherwise could have been quite fun. By ending it with a question about my relationship status just highlighted his agenda, this man was on the lookout for a vulnerable girl.
Cold readers are meant to be experts on reading body language and picking up on subtle clues about a person's character, this experience made me wonder how much we give away through our appearance and actions to complete strangers every day? I wonder how much people's perceptions of us affect our life path...

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