Bad language
So, a friend sent me this feature from the BBC magazine yesterday and I have to say that I really agree with what the writer says about bad grammar being a turn off - especially when online dating.
Apparently, "Grammar is not just an educational issue. For some adults, it can sabotage friendships and even romantic relationships."
To satisfy the scientist in me, I needed some evidence to support this theory.
It turns out that OKCupid has a team of researchers (I'm still in shock) who recently analysed over 500 initial contacts on the website, specifically looking for a statistically significant relationship between initial messages and subsequent response rates.
The researchers found the following terms among the worst offenders: 'luv, wat, ya, ur', however, expressions of amusement such as 'haha' or 'lol' elicited positive responses. From this the researchers were able to infer that "in short, it’s okay to laugh, but keep the rest of your message grammatical and punctuated".
Looking at greetings they found that slang terms such as 'holla' and 'yo' gained better responses than the traditional 'hello' or 'hi' - somewhat turning the hypothesis on its head...hmmmm.
Based on their findings the researchers have put together a set of rules on what one should say when introducing oneself in the online dating arena. And it goes like this:
1) Be literate
2) Avoid physical compliments
3) Use an unusual greeting
4) Bring up specific interests
5) If you're a guy, be self-effacing
6) Consider becoming an atheist.
I'm wondering if I should start circulating this research among potential suitors, specifically the punjabi variety who persistently offend with bad spelling, grammar and all round charmlessness. I'm not sure I agree with it being a good thing for guys to be too self-effacing though, be humble for sure but not to the point where you come across as a wet blanket. For example, recently I had a text from a potential suitor who was so apologetic for contacting me that I felt bad receiving the text. It went like this "Hi, sorry to bother u, i was given ur number da other day, hope u don't mind me texting u. apols." I sent a polite reply and received the following text approximately 3 weeks later "Hi sos i lost phone n fort i found it this morn. I dont kno to much abt u, where u live?"
This was from a late-thirtysomething, born, raised, educated and employed in the UK.
Give me STRENGTH someone!
Apparently, "Grammar is not just an educational issue. For some adults, it can sabotage friendships and even romantic relationships."
To satisfy the scientist in me, I needed some evidence to support this theory.
It turns out that OKCupid has a team of researchers (I'm still in shock) who recently analysed over 500 initial contacts on the website, specifically looking for a statistically significant relationship between initial messages and subsequent response rates.
The researchers found the following terms among the worst offenders: 'luv, wat, ya, ur', however, expressions of amusement such as 'haha' or 'lol' elicited positive responses. From this the researchers were able to infer that "in short, it’s okay to laugh, but keep the rest of your message grammatical and punctuated".
Looking at greetings they found that slang terms such as 'holla' and 'yo' gained better responses than the traditional 'hello' or 'hi' - somewhat turning the hypothesis on its head...hmmmm.
Based on their findings the researchers have put together a set of rules on what one should say when introducing oneself in the online dating arena. And it goes like this:
1) Be literate
2) Avoid physical compliments
3) Use an unusual greeting
4) Bring up specific interests
5) If you're a guy, be self-effacing
6) Consider becoming an atheist.
I'm wondering if I should start circulating this research among potential suitors, specifically the punjabi variety who persistently offend with bad spelling, grammar and all round charmlessness. I'm not sure I agree with it being a good thing for guys to be too self-effacing though, be humble for sure but not to the point where you come across as a wet blanket. For example, recently I had a text from a potential suitor who was so apologetic for contacting me that I felt bad receiving the text. It went like this "Hi, sorry to bother u, i was given ur number da other day, hope u don't mind me texting u. apols." I sent a polite reply and received the following text approximately 3 weeks later "Hi sos i lost phone n fort i found it this morn. I dont kno to much abt u, where u live?"
This was from a late-thirtysomething, born, raised, educated and employed in the UK.
Give me STRENGTH someone!
posted by Machiavelli: The Princess @ 07:52
3 Comments
3 Comments:
I am a thirty-something Sikh man born and raised in the European Union, educated in India and then in the UK and employed exclusively in the UK in my career to date and I have to say, reading your wonderful blog and in particular your most recent post, I despair for young women like yourself when I read about men, with whom I am supposed to have a lot in common, displaying epic levels of immaturity at best and extreme mysogyny at worst. They sound as if they have the mental capacity of a goldfish and the manners of a caveman. Stay strong.
Thanks for your support and kind comment, much appreciated! It seems like there are far too many goldfish cavemen in my pond...
Or too many commas for such long sentence from Anonymous. Grammar. Just saying. I agree, we need more Atheist suitors.
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