A date

So a few days ago I had my first date after quite an intense relationship with my masters degree. The suitor was someone I had met on the Internet, he ticked all the boxes: tall, jatt Sikh, well educated, independent. We had a few emails initially, followed by a couple of text messages, then a phone call, then a 2 week silence and then he asked me if I'd like to meet for coffee.
I accepted the offer and we arranged a date for the following week.
The day came, i woke up feeling decidedly unexcited but thought the excitement would build throughout the day while I worked. It didn't. He was coming into central London to meet me so I had to wait about an hour for him to arrive. He hadnt decided on a place for us to go so I told him that I'd find a place and text him where I was, at least then I could sit down after a long day and get a hot drink to warm me up.
So i sat with a coffee and read the paper while I waited. He arrived. My first reaction was that he was better looking than his photo. He got himself a drink and sat down. We chatted. Twenty minutes in, although it was clear that this guy was good husband material, I felt no attraction to him at all. We managed to make the meeting last for an hour and then we went our separate ways. Being a gentleman, he asked me to text him to let him know that I got home safely, which I did. We exchanged a few pleasant texts about how nice it was to meet and then nothing.
I wish I had felt some kind of desire to see him again but I just didn't and I'm sure the feeling was mutual. I can't fault him in any way so why did this happen? Its just part of the whole blind date process I guess. I really hope I'm more excited about the next one! 

A little bit of magic

On my way home just now I witnessed the type of story unfolding that I love to read in the New York Times marriage section on a Saturday, but in real time. Sitting on the train, boy says to girl "i like your shoes" she replies with a polite thank you, he then carries the conversation further by asking where she got them from, they soon discover they have lots in common including style and musical taste. Time for her stop, he coyly says "I hope this isn't presumptuous of me but could I have your number? I really enjoyed this chat" she returns his sentiments and adds her number to his phone.
This was a little bit of magic on a rainy London day.
Watching this made me feel a little warmer and gave me that bit of hope that has been missing from my life recently. The support of good friends and opening your eyes to all the love around you is all you need to keep moving forwards in the search for love. 

What not to do on a Saturday...

So yesterday, against my better judgement, I went to a bridal show with my mum. Her thinking was that attending such a show might be a lucky omen for me and bring good luck and I thought of it as a chance to look at pretty outfits and be dazzled by glittering jewels (if nothing else).
We got there and were greeted by smiling faces asking when my big day was, so I replied saying that I didn't know yet, but my mum added that I will be a bride one day. So the lady gave me a big goody bag filled with advice for brides and some Clinique goodies.

I already felt a bit uneasy but we entered the main hall and wandered around, it wasn't long before we were stopped again and asked about my upcoming nuptials. By about the fourth time I had been asked the same question, my heart had sunk deep into my stomach somewhere and I just wanted to run away. So we left.
I'm not quite sure when things changed and the 'M word' became the big elephant in the room, but something has happened. Only a year ago I remember going into Tiffany's with a friend and having such fun trying on engagement rings that an imaginary man would buy for me.
But now, in 2012, I feel like a cross between Carrie Bradshaw, Bridget Jones and Muriel Heslop. Suddenly, I feel awkward about being single, with no marriage or engagement in sight. I don't want any well meaning individual to remind me of this plain fact. Being in a room full of excited future brides only reminded me of my own inadequacies and left me feeling really small.
After 6 years of dating, what can an eternally single girl do to keep the magic alive?

Miss 'on hold'

Seasoned daters will be aware of the situation that occurs when you've been in the dating game for a few years and the initial excitement has been replaced with vapid attempts at staying in the game, just to keep that faint glimmer of hope alive.

So we end up agreeing to be set-up with just about anyone, exchanging photographs and phone numbers, having conversations on the telephone and agreeing to talk again. 

You never hear from that person again. 

I must admit that I went through a phase of thinking that disappearing was a good way to avoid a relationship with someone I'm not interested in, but when the tables turned and someone with potential vanished from my life, I was left wondering, why was that person so gutless? 

Why do men suggest talking/meeting again when they have no intention of doing so?

Surely, if they are not that into a girl they should have the courage to bow out and wish her well for the future?

The sad reality is that they don't. With so much choice on dating websites and matrimonial lists, single men have become a valuable commodity. Spoilt for choice, they want to sample everything that's on the menu, and who can blame them?

Well, I've decided that I don't want to be the girl thats left 'on hold' while Mr Potentially Perfect is scoping the rest of the market before deciding if I'm a good investment. 

So, what can I do? I'm going to be honest and treat everyone the way I would like to be treated, maybe then the universe will reciprocate.