Life on the shelf

Sunday evening, me, myself and my laptop; here I am, living the life of a leftover woman.

I've been inspired to write this post by a good friend who recently alerted me to a BBC story about Chinese women, who, unmarried at the grand old age of 27, are doomed to spend the rest of their years on the shelf.

In China, the growing number of single late-twentysomethings is a cause for concern not only for families, but also the government. The number of single men is apparently higher than the number of women, so it should follow that single women are spoilt for choice when looking for a suitor.

Wrong. Chinese men typically marry below their station - a pretty girl has a good chance of being snapped up by such an eligible bachelor - however, a well-educated and professionally successful woman (with an average appearance) will have a hard time finding a match. This leads me to my favourite quote from the article:

"The tragedy is, they don't realise that as women age, they are worth less and less. So by the time they get their MA or PhD, they are already old - like yellowed pearls."

So what's a yellowed pearl to do? She certainly won't be getting sympathy or support from any sector of society. The government wants to match up as many men as possible for the simple reason that the frustrated single male is considered a danger to society, capable of great violence. One only has to look at countries where decades of selective abortion has led to gender imbalance, to realise that ancient attitudes and patriarchy have led to situations where angry young men are systematically violent against women. But the successful single woman is not considered a threat to anyone, and if left unmarried, will quietly fade into the background (after being shunned by society).

Societal pressures aside, life for a single woman in her early thirties is a mixed bag of emotions; she has boundless freedom and opportunity but this is often coupled with the feeling of not really belonging to the people she once shared milestones with, for they have moved on. A little bit of understanding and support for 'old' single women would go a long way. Contrary to popular opinion, we don't choose to be leftovers, but for some reason the socially expected relationship status eludes us.

Media, please have a heart. 

Be still, my bleeding heart...

Just as the new academic year begins in September and the new fiscal year begins in April, I believe that the new dating year begins today, yes, Valentine's day. For how else can someone who finds themself single again on Valentine's day derive any kind of pleasure from this sacred day for lovers?

I ended my 2012-2013 dating year yesterday by going on a coffee date. Standing about two inches shorter than me (whilst in flats), my suitor was adorably pint-sized and I found myself looking at him like I do my 6-month old nephew. While walking along the street with him I felt like his old aunty wanting to guard him from oncoming traffic and the herds of tourists surrouding us. He was just so sweet, I've been racking my brain trying to think of an equally saccharine single girl to set him up with since.    

So, overall he wasn't for me, but today is a day to be hopeful and excited about what the next 12 months will bring. And what better way to celebrate than with this quirky Valentine's card:

This is a poor quality photo but it reads:

To my valentine, upon visual stimulation Purkinje fibres trigger my ventricles to contract before my atria, contrary to a regular heartbeat. This causes insufficient circulation of blood to my lungs and body... 

In other words...

Cards available from http://stardustweare.wordpress.com 

In my opinion, this is just the best Valentine's card ever and proves that you don't have to follow the crowd with tacky Hallmark sentiments.

Single ladies, remember, we are not last season's stock left in the bargain bin never to be considered stylish again; forget the people who pity us for not having a partner, we will carry on dating and hopefully find love in the dating year 2013-14!