Melancholy and the infinite single-ness

On the journey towards my 4th decade of life, I have made many friends and now find myself part of a number of different social groups: school friends, undergrad friends, work friends, postgrad friends, even train friends. But spending time with my school friends always makes me take stock of my life in a way that friendships made in my 20s never does.

There I was this afternoon with a group of my oldest friends; we had met 20 years earlier as fresh-faced year 7s at the local secondary school. After 7 years, we all went our separate ways but always kept in touch as our lives took us in different directions; taking up the obligatory roles of bridesmaid and more recently, auntie. This afternoon, in what is becoming a common occurrence, we found ourselves welcoming a new addition to our gang. 

The days of always being the bridesmaid have now been replaced by 'always the auntie'. My friends are doing brilliant jobs as wives and mothers, but as the only remaining single girl in the group, I find myself acutely aware of the fact that I'm now 2 milestones behind everyone else. As they move forward with their own families, I find my neverending search for a partner not only boring but now tinged with sadness, as I will never experience those special moments at the same time as my childhood friends.